AND SHE DECIDES TO DIE

She's tired of crying. Her tears have all been cried out and she feels as though blood could come out in its place any moment. Her eyes, swollen and throbbing with hot pain, are now nothing but two red slits. She's been crying since yesterday morning, cried herself to sleep last night, and now she's crying herself to sleep once more. She thinks, 'God, can I just cry myself to death?'

She feels her head spinning as she tries her best to get up from her makeshift bed on the floor. She reaches out for the nearest wall and tries her best to steady herself, all but in agony. Too much pain in her head and too much memories make her sick and she's ready to just bang her head on the wall  to lose them all. She wishes she can just hit her head hard enough to die.

She hears soft breathing from somewhere inside the room and looks over to where her daughter is. There's her baby, sleeping in peace in a soft bed, innocent face subtly illuminated by the light seeping through the window cracks from the light post outside. She chooses not to sleep beside her child because she doesn't want her bothered by her incessant crying.

She's so overcome by emotions as she lumbers herself toward her direction. She sits on the bed, careful to not wake her up with her movement. She touches her cheeks and she feels herself welling up again. She loves her daughter so much. She has always saved her from herself. But this time, she is way beyond tired and she can't be saved anymore.

'Your daddy has found you someone else, baby. Your daddy found you a better mommy. I always decided not to leave because I thought you will need me most. But seeing that your dad has found you someone so much better than I am, I think I'm useless here now. I am a fucking useless bitch, he said so himself, and maybe, he's fucking damn right.'

She feels so used and beaten up. He didn't hit her this time, unlike all the other times they ever had a fight. She's got no cuts, no bruises, yet she feels like her whole body is bruised just the same. She's aching, too much aching, and delirious because of the pain shooting through her like thunderbolts. This life is such a torture and her body is now caving in to the pressure of all this fuckedupness she's going through.

She gives up. She doesn't want this shitty life anymore. She doesn't want to continue fighting for something that's too impossible to get. One chance is all she wanted, but he could never give her just that. One try to make things better for her daughter. One shot in reinventing herself and having a great family life, but that dream has finally crashed around her when he has denied her for the nth time. He would rather waste it all by choosing somebody else over her and discarding her like she's just some used tissue full of shit. All six years of physical pain and emotional torture finally got to her, this time.

As much as her breathing is being such a painstaking task right now, her heart is so fucking broken that she doesn't think it will survive anymore. She has tried to mend it over and over in the past years and maybe, finally, it's just better for it to stay broken this time. Maybe her heart is too overworked, too battered and tired and maybe she just wants it to stop beating for fuck's sake.

She's drafted her will and has been thinking of her timeline since last night. She wants to leave as soon as possible. She doesn't want to be here anymore than she wants to be anywhere else. Maybe she will be stuck in oblivion and that would be a whole lot better than being in this shithole.

She's coming home, wherever the fuck home is. Maybe she's really as bad as he said she is, and maybe that will get her to hell. She doesn't think her fuckedupness will get her to heaven. Perhaps, she just doesn't care where she goes at all.

She's done. Finally full of this crap they call life. She doesn't want to be here anymore. She just wants out.

The day she decides to die, she does.

AND SHE DECIDES TO DIE:

A MEMOIR

I'M A MOM, TOO. I DON'T GET YOU!

This is probably not something I'd normally write about. Seriously. But I just can't help myself from being upset. I just can't keep my mouth shut and turn a blind eye, you know. So if a lady ranting about a mother selling her child is not your cup of tea, well, you can skip this.


I saw the news about this lady Misty Vanhorn selling her kids on Facebook, and I literally threw up. Who the hell has the right to sell her children? What kind of mother sells her children just so she can bail her boyfriend out of jail? Darn it.

Wonder mom and the 10 month old baby she tried selling on Facebook

I ain't a perfect mother and I'm far from being one, but it's sickening to know that other people can do this to their children. This is so friggin' disturbing. I never knew I could ever feel so strongly about people I don't know personally, but this definitely shook me.


I'm a mother, too. I know how hard it is to be away from my kid. I get hurt if my girl gets hurt. I'd wage war and kill if someone tries to violate my daughter's rights. I'd die if my child is taken away from me. I don't know how I'd be without my daughter. My child is my life and I am her fortress!


That's why I just don't get it why a parent can do this to her own flesh and blood! She's willing to sacrifice her children for the sake of her boyfriend?! What is up with the universe?!


Like seriously, MOM?!

REDIRECTION TO SOPHIA'S JAR

Hi!

The post you are trying to check has been moved to a new home.

All posts about my Extraordinary Sophia will now be posted on her own blog site.

Kindly click on this link and you'll be redirected to SOPHIA'S JAR:

sophiadoesawesome.blogspot.com

♥

WHO YOU CALLIN' A DIGIPERM VIRGIN?

I have been planning to get a perm for a year now, but wasn't really able to get to it due to a busy schedule.

Came the opportunity to get myself a perm, I lunged at it. To top it all off, I ain't paying for it myself. Yep, this chick's got a perm that somebody else's paid for! Hah! Talk about lucky!

I got an assignment to try the services of a really chic salon in the Metro. Yep, talking about ENVY ME Salon & Spa. I'm usually very picky when it comes to trying out services, especially if I'm getting paid to write reviews for it. But when I heard of my latest task, I said yes without even thinking anymore.

I have been reading reviews for this really chic salon and I really wanted to try it out, hoping that I could be instantly transformed into a beautiful princess. Okay, so that's really wishful thinking. But really. I'm somewhat addicted to the idea of getting soft curls to somewhat improve my relatively boring look.

All ready for perming

Envy Me Salon is a brain-child of the Congson Family. They first started out with a brand called Hairs and Nails in Davao, and later on decided to venture into the Metro's beauty industry. Hairs and Nails currently has 14 branches in Mindanao. Seeing the success and warm acceptance of clients, they brought the brand Envy Me Salon & Spa to Metro Manila with the intention of providing quality services at affordable prices. They currently have two branches in Luzon, one of which is in Dasma, Cavite. The other branch is strategically located in Robinson's Galleria, a spot very much accessible to anyone from anywhere in Metro Manila, given the convenience of Edsa buses and the MRT.

I was able to locate the salon right away. It's on the third level, west wing of the Galleria. (Just behind Gene Testa's Tattoo shop, if you're familiar with it.) Peering from the outside, through the clear glass door, I was able to see how the interior looks like; very spacious and elegant looking, well-lit and has a relaxing ambiance, open to the public but with a considerably great attempt at making sure not to compromise a customer's privacy. I immediately liked the place. Score!

So I came in to inquire whether or not I can get a traditional perm. The people inside were very much lively and all smiles. Great! (Tip: Nobody likes cranky crews, nobody likes services from cranky crews. Really.) The pretty receptionist called the stylist named Toto to assess my hair. Toto expertly checked my hair and advised me that my hair would benefit more if I'd get a Digiperm. He pointed out something that I've known all along, my hair is really dry and brittle, thus cold wave perming will only worsen the condition.

Since I was kinda expecting that diagnosis, (and considering that the prices are nearly the same, and I'm not even shelling out for it), I eagerly went on with the Digiperm. You can't blame me if I felt a little bit scared about the procedure, I'm kinda a virgin at it, you know. 

Ate Joy and the big Perming machine

Surprisingly, I was at ease during the process. Joy, the salon assistant, was very accommodating and friendly. She gladly answered my questions and even proactively educated me on how to keep my hair protected and beautiful. She took her time checking on me and explaining the procedure step by step so that I knew exactly what's going on. She also advised me on what product to get to maintain my hair's curls. I'd really recommend her, she's a real darling! I really felt pampered by her and would definitely be asking for her during my next visits.

Toto applying neutralizer

The owner of the salon, Buddy, was also very accommodating. He's very warm to his customers and that really means a lot in this industry. Build friendships with your customers and they will come back, definitely.

Oh, by the way. I've got their price list/s here. You might wanna check their chic and affordable services. They also have promos every now and then, you can visit their Facebook site to know more. (You might wanna click this link: www.facebook.com/EnvyMeSalon .)

Pricelist

Pricelist

Did I say they have free Wi-Fi, too? You just have to ask them for the password. They also offer complimentary drinks, although I didn't opt for one since I had a cup of Gongcha with me.

Just ask for the password

And here are the reminders and what-nots.

Post-Digiperm care

After 3 hours of waiting in vain, I was really happy about the outcome. Very satisfied about the service. Definitely enjoyed the experience.

Curly hair... Awesome!

Let's just see how my hair will look like in the days to come. Will keep you posted. 

For now, this salon goes on top of my list. <3





















(Photos were taken using my old iPhone.)

Another New Year With And Without You

Another year, another chance to be better.

Aside from saying my prayers and thanking God for the new chance He has graciously given me and the world, I mentally ticked the entries on my new year resolutions list, one by one. Among them, of course, is none other than deactivating my Facebook account. Why? Because I just don't see how I can't live without it. Good grief, I had enough of the crazy stuff people share on Facebook, thank you.

Okay, moving on. New year's eve was of course celebrated at home. No crazy antics for me. Just took pictures of Sophia holding a cardboard with a greeting that goes out to her dad. Spur of the moment idea. Good thing I have tons of art stuff that I can make do with. I just wrote the message and gave Sophia the honor of coloring the hearts I drew. (Sophia never complained. She loves art. :D)

Happy New Year, Tatang

When Sophia fell asleep, I had nothing else to do. I just sat in a corner, ignoring the noise of the firecrackers and the sound of the neighbor's forever-playing videoke machine, while mucking around with my laptop. I'm not a KJ, okay? I just don't like smoke and noise that much, I'd leave them to people who don't mind getting stiff necks from watching fireworks in the sky.

Media Noche was simple yet happily shared with special people. I had a plate of Carbonara and toast, a spoonful of fruit salad and a healthy serving of salad greens.

Three hours after Media Noche, I was on my way to work. Talk about sleep deprivation.

The first day of my new year was partly spent at the office. It's not that bad. Free lunch was served at the pantry. Fewer callers meant fewer issues to deal with. I was even permitted to leave work early.

The highlight of January 1? We went to Star City! I had long been planning to take Sophia there because I've read lots of good reviews about Snow World and I so wanted her to try it out. Fortunately, the opportunity presented itself.

 Sophia's grandparents and nanny went with us

Okay, so this might seem like not a good idea considering today is a holiday and there could be a lot of people in Star City, and if you have that in mind, you're absolutely right! "A lot of people" would be an understatement. There were, like, millions of people there. (Okay, I'm exaggerating. But still..)

I wasn't really able to document Sophia's experience in the Snow World. The staff advised to put mobile phones and cameras inside plastic wraps to prevent them from getting moisture/water damage. Still, I wouldn't be able to take videos even if I could use my phone, because I was holding Sophia's hand and was too busy making sure that she's comfortable. Fortunately, there were two photographers inside the attraction, we paid one to take our photo. (Photo cannot be posted due to privacy reasons.)

Lots of people falling in line

As an attraction which boasts of bringing the winter experience to the Philippines, I'd give Snow World four stars out of five. Sophia was very happy about the experience and that's good enough to me. My only not-so positive observation was that the area is so small and that it could really get uninteresting after the first ten minutes inside. I have also heard comments that the jackets they let people use for the tour smelled like they have not been washed for a long time. (Good thing I brought my own jacket. I had Sophia use her own jacket, too!) My take is that the management should look into the areas of improvement in order to make Snow World something people would really enjoy and consider going back to.

Exploring Star City with Lolo

Sadly, we were not able to try other rides. Each attraction had a really long line of people wanting to get a piece of the action. Sigh. We 'll probably try them some other time. At least we got what we came for today.. Sophia really enjoyed her Snow World adventure.

It would have been really great if her daddy's with us. His presence is the only thing that could have made this new year celebration happier. It's another new year with and without him.

Day's done. Tomorrow's another day.